this no dairy thing has been a lot harder than i originally thought it was going to be. and not just because i always want to eat pizza and ice cream.
it's been hard because i've been dealing with a constant state of nausea for the past few days and the only thing that remotely sounds appealing is a grilled cheese.
and before you all start wondering if i'm pregnant, i'm not. (don't worry mom!). it's rather a super-fun side effect to the antibiotic i'm taking as a precaution to go along with my stitches.
i've never had any of those potential side effects before from any medication (and let's keep it that way, shall we inner self?), so this one caught me off guard. in addition to making all food sound disgusting, it gives me a metallic "mouthfeel" (real word used in food marketing. thanks salt sugar fat!) that makes my mouth taste like i just licked the outside of a beer can for hours. not the inside where the goodness is. the OUTSIDE. so yeah, it's gross. i've subsisted on gatorade, seltzer, plain turkey burgers and potatoes (mashed or french-fried) for the past two days, despite the fact that a grilled cheese has always been a comfort/sick food of mine. because it's fucking delicious yet quite mild mannered on the stomach. the ultimate win-win in my opinion. yet, i've resisted. chalk that shit up to personal growth, ya'll. now excuse me while i go chug a bottle of pepto.
before we get into this week's regularly scheduled programming, i'd like to say that i went to soul cycle this morning and i didn't want to die. it was more intense than the last ride i took - we did the weight section out of the saddle - and yet i didn't scream for the fan nor quit. i still can't "tap it back" or do the pushups on time, but i'm getting there.
also, i'm pretty sure the showers there are nicer than mine at home:
products in my favorite color.
rain-like shower? yes please.
the reason that i woke up at an ungodly time to go to soul-cycle? because it was my "last chance workout" for the next few weeks. why, do you ask? well, because i am a paley (you've seen the pictures. you know i'm not lying.) and guess what happens to paleys? they get moles that have a chance to turn into cancer. and guess what? i'm that paley that gets those moles.
i'm especially vigilant, an avid sunscreen wearer and i see the dermatologist every 3-6 months to get a full body scan. but between my family history and the fact that i freckle faster than a banana, i am constantly forking over my money to have my skin sliced and diced. and unfortunately for this week, it was my leg's turn.
ignore the giant feet and focus on the nice pedicure and the bandage around my stitches.
buddy doesn't understand seltzer. so he attacks it.
he is very good at checking i on me in between naps.
and in order to heal okay, it means that i need to stay off of it for the next few weeks. which means no working out. which means that my goal of running without stopping is on hold for the mean time. which means that i need to something else in order to stay on my path to health.
which sadly means, for this week's manic monday, i'm going to work on ridding dairy from my diet.
i'm not sure if i've mentioned this here before, but i fucking love cheese. i'm pretty sure i have it at almost every meal. it's always in my fridge and always on my mind. basically, i'm always working on my night cheese.
however, it messes with my stomach and i have a problem saying no to it. so i'm going to try and rid it. i'm not going to go all cold turkey, but i am limiting myself to one bit of dairy a day. and most days, it's going to be in my coffee in the form of milk. so yeah, this one is going to be hard. don't worry though, i sent myself off in style with an awesome cheese plate and a caprese salad yesterday. a last hurrah of sorts before i take control of my gastrointestinal destiny. yep, that sounds as weird as i thought it would.
this hurts me to say, but i'm getting old. and sadly, i have some hard truths that back this up. first and foremost, last week's self-imposed bed time was pretty great. i didnt' always fall asleep right at 10:30, but just having a reason to curl up with my cat (yep, going to be single forever) and settle in to sleep has been great. i also have a DVR for a reason. the TV will still be there for me in the morning, and just because i can't live tweet doesn't mean that i'm losing anything. safe to say, this is going to continue to be something i aim for weekly, though i will probably continue to stay up late for scandal, because shonda rhimes is KILLING it right now guys. seven fifty-two, indeed. so now that we know that last week's "lesson" was a success, let me fill you in on the other few notes of my obvious elderly state. i spent friday night enjoying the beautiful spring weather and having a lot a few beers with co-workers on a rooftop deck, despite the fact that i knew very well that i had to be up at 6am to head up to the bronx for a full day of volleyball. i had set a firm deadline of 11pm for me to head home from a birthday party and get to sleep. naturally, this means i stayed out until past midnight dancing and drinking with some truly awesome people. naturally. luckily, i managed to invest in a couple slices of delicious pizza on my way home to try and stave off any hangover in the morning. buddy helped me eat the crust in bed (i know i'm not supposed to give him people food, mom, but he wouldn't take no for an answer!) unfortunately, the tasty slices did not help me sleep safe and sound. 6am came bright and early. like real early, guys. i managed to scrape together my knee pads, high socks and shoes, threw on my spandex (oh yeah, super sexy) and sweats and headed to duane reade to buy all the gatorade and most of the food to stock up for the day. then i took the 6 train almost to its end. for real, 21 stops and it went above ground. i was unaware that the 6 train wet above ground, so it was definitely a surprise for someone (i.e. me) who was not in the mood to deal with sunlight. i ate my (two) bagels and tried to buck up for my team. it seemed to be that after the first game, my dehydration from the drinking and massive sweating, which i am wont to do, made me drunk again. if that's possible. it sure as hell felt that way, at least. so needless to say, i felt great. until i saw that three of the teams in the tournament were college club teams. and they were so young. like, so young. i consider myself a young person and like to think that i could still pass for an undergrad student. well, i used to at least. because i literally looked across the net at one point and couldn't distinguish the setter (something you do in competitive vball. look, you learned something today!) from anyone else. they were literally all 18, blonde and tall-ish in identical uniforms. the spandex i was wearing were from my senior year of high school, so basically almost as old as they were. that was an ego blow. the tournament itself went pretty well, we came in second place and i got some sweet new sweat pants as a reward. but we did play 7 games in the span of about 7 hours. and not to brag, but i'm pretty good at the game (i've been playing for more than half my life, so i should be by this point), which meant that there was no time of me sitting on the bench. i'm also extremely aggressive - shocker - and have no qualms about throwing my body across the floor in the chance to try and keep the ball up. and for some reason, my body doesn't heal quite as fast as it used to. in the past, i would've been able to go out drinking after a day of playing. hell, i literally did that in college, and pretty damn well at that. but between the friday drinking and the saturday sports, i was one tired bitch. i fell asleep on the couch before smash could even come on at 8pm. and lord knows there is nothing i love more than a good hate-watching and live-tweeting of smash. buddy woke me up before 10 and was disappointed that instead of playing with him for a while, i just moved locations and slept hard for another 11 hours. he was also disappointed that it took me 20 minutes to get out of bed this morning because EVERYTHING HURTS AND I WANTED TO DIE. shoulders, back, ass, legs, feet, knees and neck were all screaming when i even considered moving them. this is not how it used to be. why is this happening? i just want to play sports and drink beers and feel nothing. why am i not still 22? okay, rant over. because let's be honest, the insecurity of 22 is not something that i wish for ever again. neither is the pay grade, amiright? you know what is great about being 28? taking newsworthy stories and making them applicable for real life. case in point? while sitting in the park today with my besties, most of whom are single like me, we were discussing flirting. my friend (shall remain nameless for this one) mentioned that she's finally getting the hang of flirting. extremely outgoing and will talk to everyone, she mentions how she needs to start with the light arm touch and the laugh. i, being the asshole that i am, tell her that she needs to lean in. and not sheryl sandberg style figuratively, but LITERALLY lean into a man when speaking with him. that way he can look down your shirt and tell you are interested(hi mom!). yeah, i'm making some real good choices and giving great advice to people. the other great thing about being 28? being able to spring for the 10 minute massage at the end of your mani/pedi. because damn, it hurt so good today guys.
well, it's everyone's favorite day of the year, april 25th!
that being said, i figured a little midweek check in couldn't hurt.
i'm digging this going to bed early thing for the most part. but it's not making getting up early in the morning as easy as i hoped it would. in fact, those two morning workouts i mentioned trying this week? slept right through them. and it was glorious. friggin glorious.
i did manage to make my volleyball game last night and i am playing in another tournament on saturday, so i feel slightly better about myself. even if i missed out on some trudog time this morning.
alright kids, short and sweet today because i really need to celebrate the perfect date accordingly.
which obvi means, i'll be wearing a light jacket and acting like the female rain man. duh.
ahhh chub rub. welcome back to my thighs. while i was ready for amendment 2b weather (the right to bare legs), i was not ready to see you again. but i digress. this week's manic monday came to me in a dream. well, not really, but kind of. this may come as a surprise to you, but i put relatively zero forethought into what i'm going to work on each week. i basically think about it all day sunday and try to figure out what i think is the least taxing and the most feasible for me to actually accomplish. then i go to bed and forget everything and make a decision on my commute to work. to which i arrived on time today. anyway, i played in a volleyball tournament all day yesterday, as i am wont to do, and was exhausted so once game of thrones was over (this episode lives up to the crazy of a storm of swords. everything happens in that book guys. EVERYTHING), i skipped watching mad men live (second week in a row. oh well) and crawled into bed around 10:15. i put the TV timer on and barely heard it before heading off into oblivion.
listen to this mashup. it's magic. even for sleepyheads like me. i was so tired last night, i don't even think that my snuggle buddy buddy woke me up. which is basically the first time that's happened since i brought him home. i woke up happy and refreshed and ready to start the week. well, as much as i can be before coffee on a monday fucking morning. so thus, i have decided that this week that i'm going to make a conscious effort to get to bed at an earlier time on school nights. in fact, i need to be in bed by 10:30pm. i don't necessarily need to fall asleep at that time, but personal electronics and lights need to be turned off. this may not seem hard to most of you, but it is for me. scandal is all new this week and i NEEDS to know what's going on with olivia pope and co this week, y'all.
good news: i managed to arrive to work on time almost every day last week. the exception i already told you about. so this week, a success. however, my life was a crazed mess last week. which meant i got home most nights and fell into bed. which means that my apartment is once again a disaster zone. buddy still has his "adorable" habit of destroying my toilet paper at every chance he gets. my dishwasher has been clean for days, but has yet to be unloaded. and the floor of my closet is once again covered in clothes and cat hair. basically, i took one step forward with my weekly goal, and one giant step backward with my first goal of being a bit more domestic. which means that i need to make sure that by improving one area per week doesn't take away from my what i learned the week before. apparently it seems that my tried and true method of cramming before a test and then forgetting everything afterward. i have to like "learn" or whatever. oof. that's going to hurt. unrelated, i did something very new york yesterday and kind of conquered a fear (well, a little bit). i walked the brooklyn bridge. i have an extremely irrational fear of bridges. i always think that they're either going t fall out from beneath me, or that my car will careen off of the side and i have only 10 seconds to unbutton my seatbelt, open the door and dive out into the water before i die. yep, this is a completely normal thing for me. but not for most people. walking the brooklyn bridge is apparently a new york right of passage and the fact that it took me over three years of residency to do it is blasphemy. so my friend meri g and i took to the pavement and walked both ways, and toured around the newish brooklyn bridge park. it was gorgeous and i'm glad i did it, even though i saw a girl try to climb on part of the bridge to take a picture and i had a minor panic attack. on that note, i'll leave you with the pictures that i took. until we chat again, internet friends.
okay, this is going to sound super hokey, which is totally not my style, but i think that exercise and pampering can basically fix anything. at least, that's what i'm pretty sure i learned in the past 48 hours. wednesday was a terrible day. like, this bad:
i do not own this photo. just the not impressed face and bad photoshop skills.
i won't go into detail as clean fonts and dirty jokes is a positive place, but let's just say, if at 8:20am you've already thrown in the towel, it's not going to get any better from there. what made this all worse was the fact that i had thursday packed to the motherfucking brim. (yep, motherfucker is the only adjective that is appropriate there. i said this was a positive place, not biblical one.) i had already committed to doing 7am soul cycle, was super busy with work and had my annual gala for my super-awesome non-profit that i serve on the board for, which i was pulling double duty as attendee and photographer (well, until i had too much wine and they made me put the camera down). so, i get about 5 hours of sleep going into thursday and i still wake up in a terrible mood. and i am about to get on a bike for 45 minutes. which let's be honest, hurts your good girl. especially if you only cycle once a quarter or so, like myself. and on top of it, i was running late. this did not bode well for me. i took a cab 8 blocks managed to arrive on time and get in to set up my bike with two of my have gal pals, nicole and rachel. they are super happy to be there, because they do this on the regular and are true soul-cyclers (if that's what you call a brand enthusiast. should've googled that one.) me? this was my second class ever at soul-cycle, and the first one? well the first one ended with me asking to just die on the bike because it was easier than ever moving again. i get my bike settings going with rachel's help, because while i remembered my settings (10 7 stop!), i apparently do not have the wherewithal to set it correctly. i clip in, take a swig of water and say a short prayer. here we go. turns out, i kind of, sort of, a little bit, a lot, fucking loved it. i'm not sure if it was because i was in the front row and had more air. it could've been that the teacher had a bit of a granola-type moment that i was shockingly into. or it could be that she played hall and oates's "rich girl" and beyonce's "love on top" back to back. regardless, i was into it. and i want to go back. don't let that fool you into thinking that i was actually "good" at this. i still bob when everyone else weaves. i still don't think i tap it back correctly (get your mind out of the gutters, guys.) and i definitely am not ready to move past the 1lb weights. i left the class in a great mood, and put everything from wednesday out of my mind. didn't mean i wasn't still nervous for the day ahead, but i felt more confident that i could handle it. endorphins are NOT dolphin's tails to me anymore! they are real, viable, happy thoughts. who knew? the other two things that made my day amaze yesterday? first was the blowout i treated myself to at lunch at drybar. i 100% recommend getting your hair did if you're in a bad mood. it's basically like they shampoo out the bad shit and condition in the juju. worth every penny (not that it's a lot mom. practically free. i'm being super responsible.) the second was the fact that the gala was a huge success. the space was beautiful. the food was delicious. and the bar was fucking open. what could be better? oh, i know, if you are sitting at a table with a huge group of close friends. and they give you a nice camera to take pictures of each other in your fancy clothes. and i didn't even drop it once! (aren't you pleased, diana?) i also took some pictures on my phone for the obvious reason to share on all my social media networks.
my friends taking a selfie with my phone. much love to platt, meri and shari. hey, that rhymed!
"i just want to run and jump on you" - nicole
we managed to pull it together after the running incident. and yes, this is nicole of soul-cycle fame noted above. obvi, the program is doing her well.
and apparently, to share with you all online. even better news about yesterday? the fact that after drinking at LEAST a bottle and a half of wine last night, no hangover today. AND I WAS ON TIME TO WORK. miracles happen, y'all.
