another year, another set of most likely impossible goals.

while i wish i could say that i'm not one of those nerd-bombers who takes the beginning of each year as the chance to make a resolution or two, despite the fact that 90% of the country don't manage to keep to these said goals. (note: i definitely made up that stat, but i bet it's true). but unfortunately, i do think that the new year is a chance for a new beginning. and every year, i think that i'll have different results. yet, normally, when people ask me how my resolution is going, i respond similar to mr. campbell.

looking back, my goals for the past few years have been basically the same thing: lose weight, be more adventurous, blah blah blah. and i haven't managed to do anything about it over the fast few years. this year has been kind of meh. it's not that i'm unhappy with my life, i have a lot of great things going for me, like amazing friends, a supportive family, a city i'm obsessed with and a super awesome cat.

i mean seriously, i have some great stuff going for me.

but i just feel like i could be happier and better at my life, you know? and since there is basically no one stopping me but me, i decided (again) that it's time to get back in order.

however, when i was thinking of how to "resolve" for this year, i realized how everyone fails. by setting one goal that is too hard to attain. so i've decided to take a different approach this year and hope that i get different results.

there are three basic dreams that i - and most people - want in life: health, wealth & happiness. now, if i set out to attain all three at once, i would fail faster than i chip my manicure (fast). so instead, i have decided that each month i'm going to work on small goals that can help me get to the macro (impressive word, i know) goal. but what's important is that i make sure i do it for the right reasons.

heisenberg knows what's up.

here's a little breakdown of what i'm looking for from each of the pillars:

health: i mean, this wouldn't be a betsy resolution if i didn't say that i wanted to lose some weight this year. because i do. but more importantly, i want to focus on living a healthy life, which includes eating better and getting some exercise - of course - but it also means that i want to put my health first. if you don't feel good, you're not happy. this past year i've struggled with a lingering allergy situation, some kind of asthma flare up and a lot more aches and pains than i think are normal for a 28-year old woman.  not to get all hippy dippy, but i do believe that some of these issues might be able to be cleared up with a regular routine as opposed to the chaos i have been living lately.

but that doesn't mean that i'm not going to use my healthcare that i pay my hard earned money for to check out the stuff that hangs out longer that than it should.

wealth: i wish i could just resolve for wealth and all of the sudden be blessed with an unlimited bank account. but that's not how it works. and while i am SUPER good at spending money, i'm terrible at saving it. which my parents love to point out. so this year, my goal is to learn to save and actually do it. create a budget and stick to it. put money in a savings account and not touch it. you know, basic life skills that i should have by now. so basically, i'm just going to become a normal, functioning adult who spends less than she makes in a month. groundbreaking, i know.

happiness: this one isn't as easy to pin down into a specific thing or goal to it. because one thing doesn't make you happy. it's a bunch of things all working together in harmony. or some bullshit like that. and while i do agree that attitude is a big part of happiness, it's also about finding things that bring you joy, even if it's just a simple cat image on the internet.

it's a kitten eating pancakes!

i'm heading into my last full year of my twenties and i don't want to have any regrets about things i wanted to do that i missed out on because i was scared or nervous of the repercussions. so i'm going to find things that bring me happiness and take advantage of them. whether it be springing for the (cheap) 10 minute massage at the nail salon, getting pink hair or even seeing a movie by myself because i can't possibly wait for another minute, i'm going to just do it and love every second of it.

and theoretically, the reason i'm telling all of you fictional readers this is that i'm going to come back at the end of each month and let you know what i did to work towards these goals, if i'm succeeding, failing or if i just straight up forgot about it. apparently accountability is what makes things real.

for january, my main goal is to cook more and eat out less, because it helps me get to ALL THREE GOALS. i know, crazy, right? but if i cook more, i save money from eating out. and if i make it, then i know what's going into it, and i can make sure i choose healthier options. and i actually love to cook, so it makes me happy to be in the kitchen.

since i'm sure your minds are completely blown right now, i'ma drop the mic and pick up a ladle to get myself a serving of the delicious chicken tortilla soup i made in my slow cooker yesterday while you crazies nursed your hangovers.

yep, 2014 is basically already my bitch.

i'll be missing you - kittie smalls edition

well friends, this is not going to be a super fun post, but i've got the sads today and i want to write about it to deal with it. you know, like a normal (eh, not really) person.

as you all know, i am a fan of the furry feline species. i have my very own purry pal buddy who lives with me here in nyc, plus i have four loves that live with my parents in florida that i spent plenty of time snuggling with from middle school through those couple of "boomerang" years after college.

unfortunately, it's been a bad week for connors' kitties. we sadly lost both little girl (grey tabby) and mopsy (black persian) in the past week, which to be honest, FUCKING SUCKS.

now don't get me wrong, we've kind of known for a while that things were not looking great. both had been getting skinnier, which is not common in my house. we like big kitties. more to love. so for the past year, every time i go back to florida, i say goodbye to all the cats as if i'll never see them again and feed them the milk from my cereal bowl one more time (sorry mom). but i never really thought that it would be our last snuggle. i tricked myself into thinking they would live for another year every time. and that's not grown up or realistic of me, but i don't care. i'd rather just live in the moment and then deal with it when the time comes.

so just like diddy misses biggie, i'm going to miss mops and girl - kittie smalls if you will. since i can't make an awesome music video to honor them, i encourage you to listen to the audio of diddy and faith's words (substitute snuggles for the making love, because that's just GROSS guys) while looking at some of my favorite pics of my loves.

mops napping on my books because she had to be on you.

i really wanted little girl to be a cash cat. like REAL bad.

whatcha lookin' at punk?

her favorite spot in the world was wherever you were sitting on the couch

her "judging you" face.

in addition to hugging buddy extra hard tonight, i'm also pouring one out for my fallen homies. it's what they would want. 

manic monday: cleaning out the clutter

first and foremost: today was the first day of what i'm deciding to call "white wine weather." which means it finally felt like spring! i obviously decided to celebrate and got carded buying my $10 of sauv blanc. so basically, today is the best day ever.

alright, here's the first installment of me trying to do things via manic mondays. oooooooooh, ahhhhhhhhh. 

clear out the clutter:
so originally, the first week's mini goal was to stop hitting my snooze button every morning. but that was thrown out the window when i snoozed not once, not twice, but FOUR times this morning. it felt fucking fantastic, people, so i figured, let's wait until i have some momentum to try and tackle that decades long habit. 

as i woke up from my haze and rushed around this morning, i realized what that this is finally the chance to do what i have been claiming to have done for weeks: clean up the clutter of my apartment and "get my life in order." 

i have NEVER been a good housekeeper. as a kid i had piles around my room that contained everything i owned. clothes, books, lots of backstreet boys cds. you know the essentials. i have sort of made my ways better when i had roommates, but moreso in a shared space like a kitchen or living room. my room has always been what has been so lovingly called a "disaster zone," and now that i live alone, the whole apartment is really fair game. and it's bad.

so while it's mostly okay with me, i recently acquired a new roommate that the clutter makes things difficult for: my new furry friend buddy.

he's basically the cutest thing that ever existed. he's also a typical, bad-behaving kitten, and i wouldn't have it any other way:

but, this means that anything left out, on the floor even on the counter is fair game to him. i found litter in my shoes that were left near the bathroom where his box is. he picked up my underwear personal clothing item that was on the floor and hid them under my bed. he ate the casings to turkey sausage out of the garbage. while he managed to come through that all unscathed, i figure it wouldn't hurt me to start taking care of my life.

the plan is to take an hour each day and tackle a room and get rid of all trash, put as much as i can away and throw away what i don't need.

the throwing away things will be hard. i'm a big fan of holding onto back issues of magazines in case i ever need a recipe for quinoa again. did i see a show with you and did we get playbills? i've kept it. did i wear that shirt once for a halloween costume? still in my drawer. so not only am i doing the easy cleans, but i'm also going to actually purge a lot of stuff that i don't use anymore or don't wear anymore. and guess what? i LOVE stuff. this stuff is not going to go quietly into that dark night.

how do we know i'm serious about this? well, i made a pretty cool purchase today, guys.

yep, i got myself a hand vacuum, so that i can like REALLY clean. my mother, who i know is reading this even though she will lie to me and tell me she isn't for the sake of "boundaries," is super proud of me.

i'm obviously going to start off by cleaning off my wine glass and then filling it up, before tackling the kitchen. because a glass in the hand is worth 2 in the bottle.