manic monday: just keep swimming (not literally)

for the past few weeks, i haven't done much on the weekend, and yet i'm still exhausted when i get to work on a monday.

i'm trying to get to bed earlier and rise and shine appropriately but nothing seems to be working. not even waking up to this snuggle buddy makes the morning easy.

basically, i feel like the walking dead on a daily basis right now. and i keep thinking that i will make up the sleep during the week, but i forget that i'm a total social butterfly (picture me as shosh from girls) and that i have things planned almost every night. and then on the nights when i do get to go home in time, i watch all the TV that i missed and then i am suddenly awake and unable to calm down.

the first half of the week this week is not doing me any favors. in addition to work, i have dinner plans with VERY important people (my dad and my dear friend rachel for her birthday) for the next three nights. THEN i have a 6am flight on Thursday morning to go down to Birmingham for a family visit. it's just.so.much.

so this week, my goal is just to make it to vacation without flipping out and crying. just keep swimming and it'll all be okay. i'll get some sleep, some family and some happiness. i will not be a ms. grumpy pants, guys. i can do it.

sunday showdown: not what i expected to learn.

so, i learned like a huge lesson this week, but it was not related to my dairy-free existence. which was pretty easy by the way. probably because of the whole nausea thing that lasted all week.

related, i've also hit my turkey burger limit for the year.

anyway, so the big lesson that i learned? i actually do have maternal instincts. and yes, i'll provide ample explanation.

so, as you all have seen, i am the proud owner of a handsome kitty, buddy. 

every breath you take, i'll be watching you, girl. 

thanks for providing the comfy nap spot

this past week, he has been a bit of what i call a rascal. and unfortunately, it caused for some sleepless nights and extra fretting for me.

to give you some background, i previously chalked up my mom potential to the fact that i put my arm out to protect my purse from flying when i slammed on the breaks in my car. so needless to say, when i woke up at 2am friday morning to the sound of my purr-baby puking, i was a bit concerned.

now, i know that cats throw-up. but since i didn't want to wait until the morning to clean it up, i hustled out of bed to take care of it. however, what i saw was not a normal hairball. in fact, it was a bunch of elastics. it turns out buddy has been systematically eating each one of my hairties, which he got from knocking over the mason glass that holds them and dragging them out with his paws. i'm sure you can all understand that this is not on the recommended diet for kitties.  so naturally, i freaked.

i picked up the vom, threw it away, then picked up my cat and took him to bed with me. he curled up and i proceeded to stare at him for 30 minutes to make sure he was breathing (he was) and then googled bowel obstructions in cats to find out if i needed to rush him into emergency surgery. i finally fell asleep and decided that i would figure out after seeing his behavior in the morning to decide what my next steps were.

i still woke up to a purry kitten who head butted me for 20 minutes to get me out of bed 40 minutes before my alarm went off, but he didn't bound out to his food like i wanted him too. however, given that he pooped - important information, guys - and did eat, i went to work and spent the entire day trying to google different ways to make sure he was alive. 

i came home to an empty food bowl and a playful kitty, so we were out of the woods. i moved all my elastics to a drawer and called it a day.

and then yesterday happened. i was getting ready for a fun-filled day at the new yorker's passport to the arts and couldn't deal with my allergies for the day. so i got out my trusty zyrtec to take care of the job. in the 5 seconds that the pill was sitting on the counter while i picked up my water glass, my friend buddy managed to ingest it. apparently, much like his mom, he'll eat most anything. 

again, i freaked the fuck out and tried to capture him so i could force him to puke. but he is small and fast and can hide under my bed. i called my mom (thanks for talking me down) and then the vet, where i talked to a receptionist who was like umm, watch him for a while. not enough information people!

then i was reminded that i have a very dear friend who is a vet. uh duh! so i texted her and she reassured me that ONE pill was not going to hurt him. in fact, it's actually prescribed to animals his size in some cases. cue a slight breath of relief on my end.

especially because i had a full day planned that included some art galleris and lots for rooftops and the following:

priorities.

photo booth gif-set love with silvia. 

i managed to make most of the day without truly believing that buddy was dying, but i took every chance i got to tell my friends that my cat could be dead at home. tons of fun, i know.

since the drinking started early, i was in a cab on my way home around 11pm and i walked into a destroyed role of toilet paper, an empty food bowl and a full litter box. needless to say, he was back to normal. and him waking me up at 7am this morning wanting food just made it more so obvious.

but, despite the fact that i did leave him to get my culture (and drink) on, i did showcase more care and forethought than i thought i had. i even started using my forceful voice more to keep him from getting on top of the fridge. and you know what, it doesn't make him hate me for enforcing the rules.

yep, that's him curled up on me.

the responsible thing to do would have been to lock up my potentially edible goods a while ago, but i'm a work in progress. you all know that. it's why you're reading. uh duh.

manic monday: no cheese please?

before we get into this week's regularly scheduled programming, i'd like to say that i went to soul cycle this morning and i didn't want to die. it was more intense than the last ride i took - we did the weight section out of the saddle - and yet i didn't scream for the fan nor quit. i still can't "tap it back" or do the pushups on time, but i'm getting there. 

also, i'm pretty sure the showers there are nicer than mine at home:

products in my favorite color.

rain-like shower? yes please.

the reason that i woke up at an ungodly time to go to soul-cycle? because it was my "last chance workout" for the next few weeks. why, do you ask? well, because i am a paley (you've seen the pictures. you know i'm not lying.) and guess what happens to paleys? they get moles that have a chance to turn into cancer. and guess what? i'm that paley that gets those moles. 

i'm especially vigilant, an avid sunscreen wearer and i see the dermatologist every 3-6 months to get a full body scan. but between my family history and the fact that i freckle faster than a banana, i am constantly forking over my money to have my skin sliced and diced. and unfortunately for this week, it was my leg's turn.

ignore the giant feet and focus on the nice pedicure and the bandage around my stitches.

buddy doesn't understand seltzer. so he attacks it.

he is very good at checking i on me in between naps.

and in order to heal okay, it means that i need to stay off of it for the next few weeks. which means no working out. which means that my goal of running without stopping is on hold for the mean time. which means that i need to something else in order to stay on my path to health. 

which sadly means, for this week's manic monday, i'm going to work on ridding dairy from my diet. 

i'm not sure if i've mentioned this here before, but i fucking love cheese. i'm pretty sure i have it at almost every meal. it's always in my fridge and always on my mind. basically, i'm always working on my night cheese.

however, it messes with my stomach and i have a problem saying no to it. so i'm going to try and rid it. i'm not going to go all cold turkey, but i am limiting myself to one bit of dairy a day. and most days, it's going to be in my coffee in the form of milk. so yeah, this one is going to be hard.

don't worry though, i sent myself off in style with an awesome cheese plate and a caprese salad yesterday. a last hurrah of sorts before i take control of my gastrointestinal destiny. 

yep, that sounds as weird as i thought it would.

sunday showdown: apparently not aging so gracefully

this hurts me to say, but i'm getting old. and sadly, i have some hard truths that back this up.

first and foremost, last week's self-imposed bed time was pretty great. i didnt' always fall asleep right at 10:30, but just having a reason to curl up with my cat (yep, going to be single forever) and settle in to sleep has been great. i also have a DVR for a reason. the TV will still be there for me in the morning, and just because i can't live tweet doesn't mean that i'm losing anything. 

safe to say, this is going to continue to be something i aim for weekly, though i will probably continue to stay up late for scandal, because shonda rhimes is KILLING it right now guys. seven fifty-two, indeed.

so now that we know that last week's "lesson" was a success, let me fill you in on the other few notes of my obvious elderly state. 

i spent friday night enjoying the beautiful spring weather and having a lot a few beers with co-workers on a rooftop deck, despite the fact that i knew very well that i had to be up at 6am to head up to the bronx for a full day of volleyball. i had set a firm deadline of 11pm for me to head home from a birthday party and get to sleep. 

naturally, this means i stayed out until past midnight dancing and drinking with some truly awesome people. naturally. 

luckily, i managed to invest in a couple slices of delicious pizza on my way home  to try and stave off any hangover in the morning. buddy helped me eat the crust in bed (i know i'm not supposed to give him people food, mom, but he wouldn't take no for an answer!) unfortunately, the tasty slices did not help me sleep safe and sound.

6am came bright and early. like real early, guys. i managed to scrape together my knee pads, high socks and shoes, threw on my spandex (oh yeah, super sexy) and sweats and headed to duane reade to buy all the gatorade and most of the food to stock up for the day. then i took the 6 train almost to its end. for real, 21 stops and it went above ground. i was unaware that the 6 train wet above ground, so it was definitely a surprise for someone (i.e. me) who was not in the mood to deal with sunlight.

i ate my (two) bagels and tried to buck up for my team. it seemed to be that after the first game, my dehydration from the drinking and massive sweating, which i am wont to do, made me drunk again. if that's possible. it sure as hell felt that way, at least. so needless to say, i felt great. 

until i saw that three of the teams in the tournament were college club teams. and they were so young. like, so young. i consider myself a young person and like to think that i could still pass for an undergrad student. well, i used to at least. because i literally looked across the net at one point and couldn't distinguish the setter (something you do in competitive vball. look, you learned something today!) from anyone else. they were literally all 18, blonde and tall-ish in identical uniforms. the spandex i was wearing were from my senior year of high school, so basically almost as old as they were. that was an ego blow.

the tournament itself went pretty well, we came in second place and i got some sweet new sweat pants as a reward. but we did play 7 games in the span of about 7 hours. and not to brag, but i'm pretty good at the game (i've been playing for more than half my life, so i should be by this point), which meant that there was no time of me sitting on the bench. i'm also extremely aggressive - shocker - and have no qualms about throwing my body across the floor in the chance to try and keep the ball up. and for some reason, my body doesn't heal quite as fast as it used to.

in the past, i would've been able to go out drinking after a day of playing. hell, i literally did that in college, and pretty damn well at that. but between the friday drinking and the saturday sports, i was one tired bitch. i fell asleep on the couch before smash could even come on at 8pm. and lord knows there is nothing i love more than a good hate-watching and live-tweeting of smash. buddy woke me up before 10 and was disappointed that instead of playing with him for a while, i just moved locations and slept hard for another 11 hours. 

he was also disappointed that it took me 20 minutes to get out of bed this morning because EVERYTHING HURTS AND I WANTED TO DIE. shoulders, back, ass, legs, feet, knees and neck were all screaming when i even considered moving them. this is not how it used to be. why is this happening? i just want to play sports and drink beers and feel nothing. why am i not still 22?

okay, rant over. because let's be honest, the insecurity of 22 is not something that i wish for ever again. neither is the pay grade, amiright?

you know what is great about being 28? taking newsworthy stories and making them applicable for real life. case in point? while sitting in the park today with my besties, most of whom are single like me, we were discussing flirting. my friend (shall remain nameless for this one) mentioned that she's finally getting the hang of flirting. extremely outgoing and will talk to everyone, she mentions how she needs to start with the light arm touch and the laugh. i, being the asshole that i am, tell her that she needs to lean in. and not sheryl sandberg style figuratively, but LITERALLY lean into a man when speaking with him. that way he can look down your shirt and tell you are interested (hi mom!). yeah, i'm making some real good choices and giving great advice to people.

the other great thing about being 28? being able to spring for the 10 minute massage at the end of your mani/pedi. because damn, it hurt so good today guys.

sunday showdown: not quite there...

so, here is my first "official" check in. and by official, i mean, the first time i rate my results. and in the sake of all honesty, i didn't do that well.

i managed to tidy up a bit, but nowhere near the amount that needs to be done. but isn't that part of the reason i'm blogging? because i have obvious shortcomings and i need to deal with them. 

but i'll get to them in a few, i want to walk you through a few fun things that happened since i last typed and you theoretically read it.

first, i took a class a 6:30 in the morning - yes, apparently they have a 6:30 in the morning too. weird, huh? - with an instructor whose name is trudog. yep, trudog. all one word, no e. and he introduced himself to me with a straight face. it was a cardio jam class that was kind of the perfect way to start the day, because he played some kickass music. janet, khia, macy. 
however, in class, i felt my shoulder muscle pop out during jumping jacks. and it hurt like a bitch. i kept going, because i apparently am a sadist, and finally today it's starting to feel normal.

second, on friday after work i went to a happy hour that turned into drinking all night and came home to find this: 

so not only had i not kept up my initial part of my cleaning goal, but buddy decided to make things worse. i'm pretty sure he was trying to teach me a lesson that being gone from 8am until 1am is NOT okay. my toilet paper was also completely unrolled too.

little bastard.

we made up though. he even helped me get dressed today. and by dressed, i mean he tried to eat my necklace and then was unimpressed that i wouldn't let him.

unfortunately, the excessive beer drinking made me have a slight taste of what my family so LOVINGLY calls the "bottle flu." and i was supposed to go to soul cycle at 10am with my girls, who are all pros at spinning. i am not a pro, and am pretty sure that i would've puked had i been on the bike. and i don't know if they'd let me come back after that. and i have TWO classes already paid for, so i really don't want to get barred for life. it'd be like bad fitness karma. i managed to get out of it, but am planning to reschedule because that is definitely something that needs to be blogged about. so, something for you all to look out for in the future.

i did recover, but spent most of the day hanging on my couch and dealing with a massive allergy attack. but it also meant falling asleep at 10pm, so really, it's for the best.

nyc is freaking gorgeous out right, so i spent the day outside with my besties, a set of parents and a lot of dogs. two hours of sunlight in 60 degrees means this: 

yep, that's how pale people roll. and i, my friends, am the palest.

i DID manage to sneak in 4 workouts and threw out 3 giant bags of trash, so while i am not completely clutter free, i am doing better than i was a week ago. i realized that cleaning is not something that should happen once a month or when company is coming over. dishes should be done daily, otherwise your cat will clean them for you. vacuum up the litter once a day, otherwise you will step on it as soon as you get out of the shower. hang your clothes up in the closet when they are clean or you'll forget these things.

the moral of the story? i should do NORMAL things on a daily basis and my life won't spin out of control. also, buddy is scared of the vacuum.

being a grown up is hard. apparently so is being a kitty.

manic monday: cleaning out the clutter

first and foremost: today was the first day of what i'm deciding to call "white wine weather." which means it finally felt like spring! i obviously decided to celebrate and got carded buying my $10 of sauv blanc. so basically, today is the best day ever.

alright, here's the first installment of me trying to do things via manic mondays. oooooooooh, ahhhhhhhhh. 

clear out the clutter:
so originally, the first week's mini goal was to stop hitting my snooze button every morning. but that was thrown out the window when i snoozed not once, not twice, but FOUR times this morning. it felt fucking fantastic, people, so i figured, let's wait until i have some momentum to try and tackle that decades long habit. 

as i woke up from my haze and rushed around this morning, i realized what that this is finally the chance to do what i have been claiming to have done for weeks: clean up the clutter of my apartment and "get my life in order." 

i have NEVER been a good housekeeper. as a kid i had piles around my room that contained everything i owned. clothes, books, lots of backstreet boys cds. you know the essentials. i have sort of made my ways better when i had roommates, but moreso in a shared space like a kitchen or living room. my room has always been what has been so lovingly called a "disaster zone," and now that i live alone, the whole apartment is really fair game. and it's bad.

so while it's mostly okay with me, i recently acquired a new roommate that the clutter makes things difficult for: my new furry friend buddy.

he's basically the cutest thing that ever existed. he's also a typical, bad-behaving kitten, and i wouldn't have it any other way:

but, this means that anything left out, on the floor even on the counter is fair game to him. i found litter in my shoes that were left near the bathroom where his box is. he picked up my underwear personal clothing item that was on the floor and hid them under my bed. he ate the casings to turkey sausage out of the garbage. while he managed to come through that all unscathed, i figure it wouldn't hurt me to start taking care of my life.

the plan is to take an hour each day and tackle a room and get rid of all trash, put as much as i can away and throw away what i don't need.

the throwing away things will be hard. i'm a big fan of holding onto back issues of magazines in case i ever need a recipe for quinoa again. did i see a show with you and did we get playbills? i've kept it. did i wear that shirt once for a halloween costume? still in my drawer. so not only am i doing the easy cleans, but i'm also going to actually purge a lot of stuff that i don't use anymore or don't wear anymore. and guess what? i LOVE stuff. this stuff is not going to go quietly into that dark night.

how do we know i'm serious about this? well, i made a pretty cool purchase today, guys.

yep, i got myself a hand vacuum, so that i can like REALLY clean. my mother, who i know is reading this even though she will lie to me and tell me she isn't for the sake of "boundaries," is super proud of me.

i'm obviously going to start off by cleaning off my wine glass and then filling it up, before tackling the kitchen. because a glass in the hand is worth 2 in the bottle.